The truth is that, it is a front to get pet raccoons hooked on dog treats so that they will use their theft appearance to steal Listerine, tubas and the mc rib. With a heavy heart and a hope to redeem this once great organization, I am leaking this top secret document that proves what I am talking about.
In this highly coded classified memo you can see the plot unfolding. I am only able to leak the memo at this time as I am hiding and fortifying my bunker from the packs of ravenous raccoons and pugs, now, before I am found and they attempt to silence me. As soon as I am able, I will leak the code you can use to decipher the memo. I know it has something to do with three words... I know it...
Please pray for me as I pray for all of you.....