Swearing on Servers

[diarmad]

Now, I am not a blushing 12 year old. I actually have a mouth like a sailor, but I don't inflict it on other people, and personally, I don't like hearing it.

So, with that in mind, I would like to relate what happened this evening, because it's frustrating on a lot of levels.

There is this guy I have played with several times. A lot of fun to play with. He goes by The Red Max.

Well, he started basically going off on some guy. So, I said "Please respect all players on TheVille servers"

To which he responded "well, I was the one getting f***ing abused!" And I said "ok, but it's against the rules to act like that on TheVille servers." And this started an entire tirade against ME. Not just The Red Max, but some other guy (Who has already been taken care of.)

now here's the thing. While this other jerk is going off on me, The Red Max explained that this guy was mic spamming and calling him every word in the book. So, thats obviously against the rules. And I told him that I sympathised, but no one wanted to hear HIM abusing the other guy in general chat either. This starts a whole new round of Me Abuse.

Now, I think it's obvious the Red Max was already pissed off about being abused, and basically got really offended that I asked HIM to watch his language after he just got a rash of crap. So, I definitely don't think he deserves to be kicked over something like this, but is there some way we could better handle situations like this? I mean, I don't want to hear all the swearing on one hand, but neither do I want to make players think that they have to put up with crap from some foul mouthed juvenile.

In the end, I ended up giving Red Max the link to here. I hope he registers and sees this post honestly. I feel bad that he took what I said so wrong, but on the other hand, NO ONE on these forums - which constitutes the majority of players I daresay - wants to hear that sort of language either.

So, long story short, I basically want to swear a whole bunch, and hope I didn't A) Over step my self in asking players to not swear, and B) Hope I didn't drive away a guy who is a hell of a lot of fun to play with.

ARGH!

[Dog]

He filed a complaint and I dealt with the guy giving him heck.

You didn't do anything wrong by asking people not to swear as cussing is not acceptable. In general, admins tend to allow one or two accidental ones through (often people are excited) but then begin taking a harder line.

As for scaring him away. If he likes it here, he'll stay! make sure you tell him he's a lot of fun to game with!

[diarmad]

[quote="StrontiumDog";p="51607"]
He filed a complaint and I dealt with the guy giving him heck.

You didn't do anything wrong by asking people not to swear as cussing is not acceptable. In general, admins tend to allow one or two accidental ones through (often people are excited) but then begin taking a harder line.

As for scaring him away. If he likes it here, he'll stay! make sure you tell him he's a lot of fun to game with!
[/quote]

I actually tried. I added him to my friends list and sent him a long message, as well as this entire post.

He's a great guy for the most part, and I for one can completely understand getting so ticked off at some one, that you say something you don't really mean.

I am not sure he'll be back - he was pretty mad, and quite sarcastic by the end of it all.

Although I am not an admin, I try to GENTLY let people know to watch their language. I don't think I am a total nazi about it however. I ignored a few f***s today during avanti. Almost typed a few myself even. =\

And Dog, thanks for dealing with that - the server was starting to empty from all the drama - I think your presence made people act nice. They must have figured you were the admin on the way. (SOme one asked if an admin was on, and I said no, but one is on the way.)

*sigh* More drama than I have had to deal with to date on TF2. Oh well. Its not a regular happening on TV servers, which is one HUGE reason that I play here.

[Hot Tamale]

well it is good to see that foul language and disrespect is getting taken care of... i have a friend who gets a bit ampped up and i have to tell him to stop or he is just acting like the other guy. and if an admis was to pop on and not know the story he might get kicked/banned because he is now the llama! he know now i am looking out for him and quickly replies "sorry tamale" and says "it is just getting me so frustrated!" he knows when i am on i will get somebody to help us!

[l3eeron]

I feel for Red Max being abused but its no excuse for him to react in the same abusive manor. 2 wrongs dont a make a right.


Diarmad, you did the right thing. Its hard to be tactful and diplomatic in that situation. Im glad you kept to your guns and tried to keep the peace.

From the sound of the complaint he issued, he wasnt too mad about it. I think he'll be back

[Squirrel]

Sometimes you’ve got to be Teflon and let things slide off.

[diarmad]

[quote="l3eeron";p="51714"]
I feel for Red Max being abused but its no excuse for him to react in the same abusive manor. 2 wrongs dont a make a right.


Diarmad, you did the right thing. Its hard to be tactful and diplomatic in that situation. Im glad you kept to your guns and tried to keep the peace.

From the sound of the complaint he issued, he wasnt too mad about it. I think he'll be back
[/quote]

Well, that is nearly word for word what I told him. I hope he does come back, and thanks for the support l3eeron!

@ Squirrel - it wasn't so much that I took any of it personally - I just felt bad that I had obviously pissed this poor guy off when he already felt like he was being abused BIG TIME. Just... the whoel thing sucked. iOwn was there - I think he can attest to the whole mess.

[YevGenie]

Diarmad, I wouldn't get too worried about it. I'm an RA at the University of Iowa, and I have to deal with and mediate flack like that all the time. Its really just a matter of laying down the rules, and letting them know that there are people above you (in this case admins or the complaints box, which he apparently took advantage of...so good for him), that they can use. I understand that since you are not an admin it really is tough trying to get them to listen without having any real authority backing you up, but you are also a player on the server, and you are on the server for a reason and have the right to play on a hate free server, so any cussing at all regardless of the sides should be limited. (thats my long big spiel) Hope it helps? Don't be afraid to tell people to watch it, if they don't, take a SS and try to get an Admin, from what I have seen they have an almost rediculous response time

[diarmad]

Well, it was just a crappy situation all around. The guy was pissed. And who can blame him?

I know that although I don't have authority, I have friends in high places. Pretty much anything I say CAN be backed up within minutes because I am not randomly spouting nonsense - I am trying to enforce the rules of the server. That doesn't mean I am running off tattling every time some one is rude to me - I normally let it slide off my back. But this case just sucked. Red Max is a good guy, and he obviously felt that I had slighted him. It was frustrating is all. First post was as much vent as anything else.

I appreciate every ones comments though - I definitely feel that I was in the right by saying something now. Even if he got mad and took me wrong.